Hey Asshole,
I don't know what part of your ill-conceived communist-bred brain you tend to utilize, but when a girl says no, it means no.
And your 300 Euro shirt is ugly and clashes with your ugly face.
With absolutely no regard for the continued well being of your trashy fashion sense,
Superior B
Thursday, 28 March 2013
Alphabet Soup
Dear Dumb Bitches,
I think we need to take a very valuable moment here and have a lesson in FASHION.
Hey, I dig tight pants and leggings.
I dig the trashy large hand-bag look. I even dig those giant-ass sunglasses that hide most of your caked-on makeup face from view.
I even dig when you take all sorts of unrelated colors and put them together like a glorious rainbow vomited its goodness all over you.
But for fucks sake, STOP CLASHING YOUR BRANDS. I LITERALLY JUST CANNOT HANDLE IT.
YOU LOOK LIKE ALPHABET SOUP STICKY JIZZED ALL OVER YOU. PICK TWO LETTERS, AND STICK WITH THEM.
GCLVBULGARIDGSJ. You're spelling what gagging on a cock sounds like.
Sincerely,
Superior B
I think we need to take a very valuable moment here and have a lesson in FASHION.
Hey, I dig tight pants and leggings.
I dig the trashy large hand-bag look. I even dig those giant-ass sunglasses that hide most of your caked-on makeup face from view.
I even dig when you take all sorts of unrelated colors and put them together like a glorious rainbow vomited its goodness all over you.
But for fucks sake, STOP CLASHING YOUR BRANDS. I LITERALLY JUST CANNOT HANDLE IT.
YOU LOOK LIKE ALPHABET SOUP STICKY JIZZED ALL OVER YOU. PICK TWO LETTERS, AND STICK WITH THEM.
GCLVBULGARIDGSJ. You're spelling what gagging on a cock sounds like.
Sincerely,
Superior B
Glitz and Gag
Dear Dumb Bitches,
Yeah, I'm wearing leggings and uggs. I live on the East Coast. What the hell do you want from me?
How about you save your glaringly judgey looks for when you look at yourself in the mirror?
I may wear Uggs WHEN THERE IS SNOW OUTSIDE, but at least I don't try to blend in like the Yeti you think you are.
The "white after labor day" rule should probably apply to you all year round.
With my sunglasses on inside because your white on white on rhinestone look is blinding me,
Superior B
Yeah, I'm wearing leggings and uggs. I live on the East Coast. What the hell do you want from me?
How about you save your glaringly judgey looks for when you look at yourself in the mirror?
I may wear Uggs WHEN THERE IS SNOW OUTSIDE, but at least I don't try to blend in like the Yeti you think you are.
The "white after labor day" rule should probably apply to you all year round.
With my sunglasses on inside because your white on white on rhinestone look is blinding me,
Superior B
Thursday, 7 March 2013
Reality
Dear Dumb Bitches,
"You can't be real."
Yes, you are paying 9.99 to be surrounded by a superior Holodeck-quality virtual reality projecting your wildest fantasies of being on a dating site brimming with ladiez.
But what actually blows my mind goes way beyond your existential Matrix-like crisis you're having over there.
You are paying 9.99 to grace babes with cliches that are so boorish, your grandfather would smack the cheese right out of you.
You are paying 9.99 (A MONTH mind you) to be on a dating site that actually self-deprecates. OkCupid? Just okay? Not excellent, Cupid? What's wrong with you, Cupid? Why aren't you doing your job finding this guy his perfect girl, Cupid?
Perhaps, sir, you should pay 9.99/month for a dictionary.
Or maybe you could take that 9.99, buy a girl a drink, and simply say "hello."
What a concept.
"Whoa"- Neo, The Matrix, 1999
Sincerely in Awe,
Superior B
"You can't be real."
Yes, you are paying 9.99 to be surrounded by a superior Holodeck-quality virtual reality projecting your wildest fantasies of being on a dating site brimming with ladiez.
But what actually blows my mind goes way beyond your existential Matrix-like crisis you're having over there.
You are paying 9.99 to grace babes with cliches that are so boorish, your grandfather would smack the cheese right out of you.
You are paying 9.99 (A MONTH mind you) to be on a dating site that actually self-deprecates. OkCupid? Just okay? Not excellent, Cupid? What's wrong with you, Cupid? Why aren't you doing your job finding this guy his perfect girl, Cupid?
Perhaps, sir, you should pay 9.99/month for a dictionary.
Or maybe you could take that 9.99, buy a girl a drink, and simply say "hello."
What a concept.
"Whoa"- Neo, The Matrix, 1999
Sincerely in Awe,
Superior B
Monday, 10 September 2012
That Kid
Dear Dumb Bitches,
Hey you. Yeah you. You know who you are. You're who Mark Twain talked about when he told you to shut the fuck up so you'd just LOOK like an idiot. But instead, you remove all doubt. Your mouth is looser than Octomom's flappy vagina. Your voice manages to audibly overpower even the most authoritative tones. I wasn't aware that my tuition funded your ever-clumsy balancing act on your self-highly esteemed soap box.
If I really wanted to listen to asinine verbal diarrhea or a veritable chorus of braying donkeys, I would turn on the RNC.
The next time you want to proudly proclaim your self-assured invaluable commentary, just remember that the only phd that'll get you is being a pretty huge douche.
Sincerely,
Superior B
Hey you. Yeah you. You know who you are. You're who Mark Twain talked about when he told you to shut the fuck up so you'd just LOOK like an idiot. But instead, you remove all doubt. Your mouth is looser than Octomom's flappy vagina. Your voice manages to audibly overpower even the most authoritative tones. I wasn't aware that my tuition funded your ever-clumsy balancing act on your self-highly esteemed soap box.
If I really wanted to listen to asinine verbal diarrhea or a veritable chorus of braying donkeys, I would turn on the RNC.
The next time you want to proudly proclaim your self-assured invaluable commentary, just remember that the only phd that'll get you is being a pretty huge douche.
Sincerely,
Superior B
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